“My friend is about to lose her first love and has no idea what is about to hit her. She doesn’t know…”

“My friend is about to lose her first love and has no idea what is about to hit her. She doesn’t know how the next few months she will ache and hurt every single day. She doesn’t know the act she will have to put on for everyone; the act of her not internally falling to pieces. The act of going through everyday life of smiling and joking and saying “it just didn’t work out.” Some people might even believe she never loved him, some days she might even be able to convince herself the same… But a single memory will flick through her head and she will think getting run over by a car would feel better than this. She won’t break down in front of people. Oh no, she will wait until she is alone to sob and scream until she is numb. Then she will clean herself up, and act as if her heart isn’t shattering in even smaller pieces. Fake it until you make it right? That’s the thing, one day she will make it. One day she will realize she hasn’t cried in days. She no longer needs alcohol to burn his name from her throat. She will no longer see his face when she is with others and she won’t feel the ghosts of his hands roaming her body. She will make it, not completely, but it won’t hurt as much as before. She will no longer feel like the Earth is falling from her feet. Then months and months later she will see him again, and she will want to throw up. She will want to scream and curse and cry at his feet, but she won’t. She will smile and talk to him as if nothing has happened.”

submission #341  from (via 10secondstosayitall)

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